Tips For The Fellas On Saint Valentine’s Day 2026

Pro tips for the fellas, since it’s almost Saint Valentine’s Day 2026:

If your old lady¹This is considered a term of endearment. Believe me. starts hen-pecking you and asking why you’ve been spending so much money on ammo and other hunting implements…

…then take a cue from our Attorney General, Miss Bondi, and respond with a non sequitur²In everyday language and comedy, a non sequitur describes a remark or comment that seems random, absurd, or unrelated to the previous conversation, often for humorous effect. about the booming stock market!

HER: “Why do I see a $2,476 charge from a store called ‘Willy Wonka & the Ammo Factory’ on the credit card statement?”

ME:

Young Americans for Liberty

It’ll work like magic, and melt your Sweetie Pie’s little heart.

Probably.³Full disclosure: I’m a single, never-married, sigma male.

Footnotes

• 1
  This is considered a term of endearment. Believe me.
• 2
  In everyday language and comedy, a non sequitur describes a remark or comment that seems random, absurd, or unrelated to the previous conversation, often for humorous effect.
• 3
  Full disclosure: I’m a single, never-married, sigma male.