A Proven 5 Point Plan to Win Your Valentine’s Heart

As Valentine’s Day approaches, which happens to fall on the same day as Ash Wednesday,¹I’ll share a brief post for Lent, too. it only seems appropriate for me to share some time honored wisdom for primarily, but not exclusively, young guys so they may improve their chances at winning the heart of their Valentine.

The Proven 5 Point Plan

1. Never let on how much you like a girl.
2. You always call the shots.
3. Act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be.
4. When ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of ya. It’s a classy move.
5. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Source of the Plan

Just to be clear, I didn’t create the five point plan. It was written by Cameron Crowe and then further developed by Amy Heckerling. As for me, I learned about the plan as a youngster after watching the 1982 movie, “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” My friends and I would quote some of the scenes from that movie for years to come.

Here’s the scene where Damone shares his wisdom with Rat about winning the hearts of ladies:

Alright, now pay attention. First of all, Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of ya. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.” And five – now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High | the 5 Point Plan

My Thoughts on the Plan

As a middle age guy, I’m still not sure whether this plan is one of sincerity or just some form of comical trolling of the “player” mentality of some people. Probably a little bit of both.

Have I ever used the plan? No. I was never a “playa,” as they say; I’m a natural born good wingman, though.²The wingman mentality fits well with advising and serving companies, too.

Anyway, as a ~14-year-old young man, I did go out with my friends to the record store at the local mall and buy the Led Zeppelin IV vinyl album, which was originally released on 08 November 1971. You may listen to the entire album, in conjunction with the timestamps that I provide below, over on Vimeo.

Album cover | front

Track list | side one

1. 0:00 Black Dog
2. 4:55 Rock and Roll
3. 8:35 The Battle of Evermore
4. 14:27 Stairway to Heaven

Album cover | back

Track list | side two

5. 22:32 Misty Mountain Hop
6. 27:10 Four Sticks
7. 31:56 Going to California
8. 35:28 When The Levee Breaks

As such, I probably had some great expectations as a junior high kid. I even knew all of these songs by heart—side I and II.

Stairway to Heaven (bridge – snippet)

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one, and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll

You may read the extensive interpretation of this song, or any other one on the Led Zeppelin IV album, over on Genius Lyrics. Below are are just a few snippets related to the bridge that I shared:

• “Comparing two ephemeral substances, shadow and soul, strengthens their imagery. The Shadow Archetype was created by Carl Jung, it represents a deep-seated negative aspect of our personality.”
• “Describing an angel going along with the theme of ‘Stairway To Heaven’ seeing as angels are often thought to be women and from heaven. To be specific, The May Queen referenced earlier traditionally wears all white and represents an idea of God more aligned with the narrator’s – of purity and truth not corrupted by greed or ego that may have motivated religions. As the May Queen also represents holiday personification, this suggests the myths of the bible may be interpreted as metaphors, and not to be taken literally.”
• “The music of Led Zeppelin was traditionally seen as incongruous with godliness; this song in itself manifests precisely its message that God comes in forms society may not be quick to recognize.”
• “The last two lines deliver the song’s punchline: We are all one together. Help each other find truth. Get as many people as you can to see the beauty in the better angels of our nature. We have to be steadfast (rock) and not waver (roll).”

Final Words

If you are an extrovert with sincerity, then Trust the Plan.™ Otherwise, just be your authentic self.

Either way, let me know in the comments whether your lucky lady requested the linguini and white clam sauce, and a soda-pop with no ice.

Lastly, what is your interpretation of Stairway to Heaven?

Footnotes

• 1
  I’ll share a brief post for Lent, too.
• 2
  The wingman mentality fits well with advising and serving companies, too.